I once used to look at the bad things that happened to me, as bad things, however, I now have a different view on this. It has taken me some time to come to terms with this new view, but I finally get it now and understand it fully. I will try to explain.
What I have come to understand is that, yes, while awful things do happen to us, they are not necessarily entirely awful as there is also a lot of good stuff that comes of from these things too. The bad/awful stuff does not have to define who we are (destroy us), but it can certainly shape us in one way or other, depending whether we focus on the bad or the good.
The funny thing is, whatever we decide to focus on, and the choice is ours, we will attract more of the same. For me, I finally decided to place my focus on / search for, the good things I had learnt from each my situations. What I found was a ton of amazing things.
I still had all the normal human emotions, like the grieving process, which I gave myself permission to do, yes I had to give myself permission, otherwise I would have chosen the easier, “ignore it and hope it goes away path”, like so many of us do, which I knew would only have harmed me more, emotionally, when then flows into the physical if not addressed. Even within the grieving process I learned some wonderful things i.e.
* it was okay to cry – emotional crying actually releases leucine-enkephalin (I had to look up the term), an endorphin that reduces pain and works to improve mood; chemicals build up in our bodies during times of elevated stress and crying is the body’s way of ridding itself of these toxins and waste products.
* I was being kind and compassionate to myself. Being my own best friend. Taking time to rest when my mind and body required it.
Some other things I learned was – that I had a lot of resilience, even though at times it didn’t feel like it, but when I look back, I got through it and survived; to appreciate the small things in life and be more consciously aware of my beautiful surroundings; to be grateful everyday for everything I have; what it means to truly love myself, unconditionally.
When my marriage ended, some years ago now, I remember at the time, I thought it was the end of the world, however, what I didn’t know, was that I was being led to a wonderful, happier life, filled with peace and harmony, living in an amazing part of our beautiful country. Namaste. 💞